A friend was in the first flush of anger, frustrated and incensed at the handling of a situation by someone they respected. Unresolved as weeks passed, their anger cooled to chilly resentment that settled and began to harden their heart.

I watched wondering how this could happen, suddenly aware of the growing conviction to examine my heart. It took but a moment to recognise that my vulnerabilities could easily take me down the same path.

Grievances are real everyday things we all have to deal with. Often, they turn up unexpectedly, lurking, justified by logic, beckoning me forward towards resentment, which imperceptibly, settles. Hungry for my attention, it legitimises my compliant, fuelling negative emotions that galvanise my grievance and keep it close.

Resentment feels like a barrier, a barrier that taints faith, hope and love in me, but appears to grow doubt, fear and unhealthy rivalry. My joy dissipates. God, his word and Spirit seem distant, as if his work in my life has halted.

In despair, I cry, ‘Change me, Lord!’ Slowly something begins to happen. With lightened heart, I recognise his goodness, utter my thanks, and celebrate his kindness. The resentment which hardened my heart and had begun to take root is loosening. I can let go. Holding onto anger, resentment and bitterness is exhausting. Not only do they distract, narrow my vision and bind me, but they also leave me confused and conflicted.

God’s grace is evident, as is my own weakness. My foolish pride, petulant and injured by petty disappointment and frustration, imagined it was in my own competency and skill that my strength and influence lay. I was wrong. This startling revelation requires honesty on my part and vigilant attention to the things that trip me up, which only highlights my daily need for God’s salvation.

Reoriented to him, I realise admission of need is not weakness. God delights to use our weaknesses. Those who recognise their need and receive his help are blessed and they bless others too. In their honesty, humility and willingness to depend on God, they reveal his goodness, because it is our human frailty, filled with genuine, life-giving hope, that points others towards Jesus, the only perfect, complete one.

Placing our faith in him and learning daily to walk humbly beside him allows something of God’s beauty to shine from these cracked pots. Usually, we don’t see his beauty in ourselves, but we see it in others as they do in us.

A trickle of understanding strengthens in me. Life is not something to be grasped and held onto, but my life is a gift to be shared. With patience and purpose God guides us, shaping and exchanging our hardness for a renewed heart of flesh.

© copyright Gillian Newham 2026