Two close friends recently died. The one often drove me to my knees as he revealed my impatience, while the other spoke great words of wisdom during times of uncertainties. Both are with the Lord now, and both were a gift to my life. I grieve the loss of them, aware that each unique relationship brought out a different aspect of me which isn’t easily replaceable.

The loss of friends, and our local church’s focus on friendship with Jesus and one another has caused me to pay closer attention to those around me.

We live in a small, friendly town where people greet one another in the street and pass the time of day with their neighbours. The town’s social calendar is full of activities and events; residents work together for a cause or a common goal, and there is no shortage of things to do. I am sure some of these connections go deeper than superficial courtesy, yet I still see lonely people with little emotional connection.

In my mind, true friendship diminishes that sense of alone-ness in us. Admittedly, friendships usually grow slowly, often starting with an aha moment when we realise that we have something in common with another and that maybe, we are kindred spirits. Of course, that’s a beginning which requires us to intentionally set time aside to deepen our relationship with that person.

For Christians, friendship with God and one another other is at the heart of the gospel and our faith. The Bible tells us that we are made in the image of God who already coexists in deep friendship with his Son and the Holy Spirit. I can’t quite fathom that but intuitively know it is true because by an act of love, Jesus became human and entered our lostness so that we might be his friend.

Jesus’ love and friendship is my example. I want to be a friend like that, although I frequently fall short as my husband knows. Yet I am daily thankful for God’s grace and for my godly friends who do not judge me, or confront my faults, but rather lovingly hold me accountable to God.

Believing the best, their love pardons me and instils courage in my heart to live by God’s mercy. His mercifulness permeates my life, enabling me to be honest, vulnerable and not become disillusioned when I fail. God knows me as do my friends. They are under no illusions as to who I am. Not only that, but they know Christ in me and, somehow grasping that unseen reality together, we understand that Christ inhabits the space between us.

Whether friendships cross cultures or classes, getting to know another person is a journey of learning to celebrate our differences and rejoice in the richness they bring. I am thankful for friends who have passed and for those here now as I pray: ‘Lord, enable me to be a good friend to those around me and to you.’

© copyright Gillian Newham 2025