They had given up. The realisation dawned slowly and sadly. Our friends had not seen God answer their prayers in the way they expected, in fact, he hadn’t answered their requests at all. All they’d experienced was silence and, discouraged, they lost hope in Him.

              Our friends’ experience isn’t unusual. I’ve lost count of the number of times when, overwhelmed with helplessness, I’ve started shouting, ‘How long oh God?’ and asked the unanswerable why questions. Silences with God, seem to be a common and repeated feature of the Christian life.

Despite those moments when God appears not to answer, something in me keeps on praying. I may have little to show for my prayers, but giving up is not an option because, essential as breathing is to life, so prayer is a fundamental necessity that permeates every area of my life. The only danger which confronts me is my own inchoate thoughts which can wrongly interpret God’s silences. Is He uninterested in my request? Or do my shortcomings disqualify my prayers? Neither of these nor any other reasons which question God’s lack of interest in us or our inadequacies count when we try to reason why God hasn’t answered.

Set in our everyday lives of locale and circumstance, peace and trauma, ordinary or unusual, prayer is always personal, taking place as we reach out and connect with God. In our personal relationship with Him, He seems eager to teach us to wait and listen to Him. Although, I admit that I am less eager to wait. Yet He desires that we know Him better, understand His character more deeply, and, hopefully, surrender more of ourselves to Him.

              Through the muddle and mire of life when I feel like I have reached the end of my endurance, God does come. And faith, that tenacious, persistent belief in Him which will not let go, rises. Faith enables me to acknowledge and embrace the truth of His presence. He is with me right now and that changes my perspective.

              Walking forward, I take the next step, encouraged by His word, by friends and by His grace. He is faithful, steadfast in love, forgiving and kind. Inextricably linked, the practice of faith and prayer root us in God and enable us to entrust our petitions to Him knowing that He will arrange their answers and give us more than we requested.

              But there is a mystery here too. His silences are a part of our lives, intertwined into our stories in ways that we can neither easily explain nor understand. Confused and weak, I ask God to empower me to continue with bold perseverance. The choice to rehearse what I believe and know of Him declutters my thoughts and once more exposes the foundation of my hope. Despite ongoing challenges and a lack of clarity, I will hope in Him.

He helps me to think differently. I start to understand that, rather than diminishing my faith, His silences extend the margins of what I can grasp of Him. They deepen my appreciation of His character and His ways. I pray that those friends who find themselves discouraged by His seeming lack of answers, may, as I continue to do, encounter fresh new depths of His love.

© copyright Gillian Newham 2024